I’ll keep this short. Thank you to anyone who got in touch over my last blog post, it meant a lot. This is all just based on observational stuff over the past while. The more I deal with people the more interested I become in what motivates them (or doesn’t). I mean that from more than just a fitness perspective. Life, work, relationships and the all rest (except religion and politics – couldn’t care less).
Everybody is COMPLETELY different (in my opinion). That isn’t a bad thing, the world would be a boring place otherwise.
You might be thinking ‘Hmmm, I don’t really agree with you there’.
Maybe I’m wrong, but when you start talking to people – especially people you thought you know well – about meaningful subjects, you’ll probably find you are further apart than you initially thought. I’m not trying to say that all your friends aren’t friend-worthy and you should leave town. Think of this from a motivational point of view (again, not just fitness – life in general).
One thing I’ve become very aware of is the power of language and negativity.
If only I had more hands… I could give myself 4 thumbs down.
‘I’m no good at that. I’m crap at that. I couldn’t possibly try that; I’d be useless at it. Oh I dunno etc. (in an extremely negative tone)’. How often do you hear other people say this? Or how often do you say it to yourself? All the time. You hear people say negative things about themselves, you say negative things to yourself. It doesn’t even have to be someone straight out telling you you’re shit, you do it yourself. I’m not sure if this is an Irish cultural thing but it’s something I’ve tried to remove from my own words and thoughts. I definitely observe people that I don’t know well doing it. Sometimes I hear it from clients and I try my best to highlight what they’ve done. It’s not said in a dark, ‘I hate myself’ way…it’s mostly just flippant comments.
I’ve had more than one client say ‘I’m useless with computers, can you help me with this?’.
My reply is always along the lines of ‘please don’t ask me for any help with a sentence beginning with I’m useless…’.
If you hear something enough times you start to believe it.
I can’t think of anything worse than continuously berating yourself, even if it’s in a flippant ‘I don’t mean it’ kind of way. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Don’t ingrain negative thought patterns. We have a hard time surrounding ourselves with people who are always encouraging and positive, people who make you feel you can achieve your goals. It’s not some caricatured ‘overly positive American’ from a bad movie I’m talking about. Just people who help you on your way to achieving things and finding happiness. We are all just trying to get along in life and be as happy as we can. If you’re sceptical about all this I would ask you do only one thing for the next few weeks.
Like properly listen to people.
Hardly anyone does it. How many times do you have a conversation with someone and before you’ve finished what you’re saying they’ve already started their sentence?
She’ll shut up annnnyy second now, then it’s my time to shine!
People don’t listen enough, not in a meaningful way anyway. Part of my job is trying to figure people out so I can help them as best as I possibly can. I’m FORCED to listen, and I’m glad of this fact. I’ve discovered an awful lot about myself by listening. I have walked into rooms before full of enthusiasm, big ideas and with my head high.
I’ve walked back out with my head down, robbed of that enthusiasm and belief in anything I thought I could do.
Cute baby doesn’t want to listen to your negative bullshit
Be aware of the power of language and negativity – your own and others.
Stop telling yourself you’re no good at things.
Avoid those rooms.
Avoid those people.